The Virgo and her 'Things' (much to the nomads dislike).

Yep. I'm just going to say it. I'm a Virgo. Call me corrupted by the LA spirituality, or whatever but I've come to terms with it and in fact quite enjoy the solidity of knowing I am not alone in this world; in how I think, how I feel, how I reason and how I get hella weird depending on the movement of the stars and moon and yadda yadda.

I know for some of you, especially my churched friends, this might be a bit woo woo but bear with me -- allow yourself to assimilate (astrology is really no different than Myers-briggs in my opinion, only it's based on the movement of the planets, which makes much more sense to this earthy-creature... I digress).

All that to say I have this growing tension within me; this desire to be grounded and surrounded by things of beauty -- and not just for my sake but for the enjoyment and peace of mind of others -- and the desire to wander endlessly. The nomad in me says, "Let it go. Keep it light. Sell, Trash, Re-home, fly" while the Virgo in me says, "build, nest, collect, curate". I'm going to be honest. It's getting exhausting.

I feel like I am at constant war.

The exciting part about it, though, is the realization of it (and acceptance of it). I have been learning a lot about being okay with where I am at and the things I am learning. Instead of running from the changes, I am challenging myself to run into them. Why does change inside of me seem to scary?

Something interesting has shown it's ugly face, too, in this new exploration of me. Guilt. One moment I am yearning for a home, a place to rest my bones, and the next I am chastising myself for that desire. As if a home is... bad - but what is actually being said is, "desire is bad".

Where the hell did that come from?

guilt is not GOD.

I believe that each one of us was created with desires and fires lit within our souls for a purpose. We are designed to operate in that place for a reason, sometimes, perhaps, for just a season, but it is not misplaced.

So this is for all your nomads out there -- all you Virgos, and travelers, all you soul seekers and dreamers. Put aside guilt. Put aside the judgement of self concerning growth and change. And dive in. Dive into your desires. Find the TRUTH in them and let that truth align those desires with the heart of God. 

 

 

 

Taren MarounComment