Things are churning.
The days are passing in bright blues and whispers of fall; and on the gentle, tumbling breeze rides change.
The last four days found me nestled in the wild country of Tahoe with my family, enjoying laughter, food, and the slow pace and quiet of mountain life. It's always a funny balance to spend time away, especially after having just found my way 'home' from the Middle East. I find myself torn between the things I am eager to jump into and nurture in LA and the family I love and the quiet my soul desperately needs.
There are so many things inside of me which are longing to come out. I have no shortage of ideas, words, colors and stories; and often I have trouble organizing and compiling them into something functional and long-term. I am blessed to have people around me who support me and desire to see me grow and succeed, and yet I still find myself tangled in the questions, fears and potential what-if's.
I want to be honest with my fears.
I want to stop running, for only then can I face them + defeat them.
I realize that on some level I fear change; which is a strange realization considering I am someone who thrives on it on other levels. I fear change when it is outside of my control, and while the journey has been rough, I am thankful that I see that in myself now. I desire growth and you can't grow without change. I am choosing, today, (and I will again tomorrow for it is a whole new day) to put aside fear. There are certain things for which I fear making decisions. I become immobile in the face of potential-perceived failure, and that keeps me from moving forward, but not today.
Practically speaking here are a few ways I've found to start the process of killing fear + soaring into new and beautiful things:
1. Talk to someone you trust.
-- Allow yourself and your fear to be seen. Only when fear is recognized and called out can it be defeated.
2. Identify your fear.
-- The goal of fear is to hold you back. Identifying your fear (ex. I fear change, or I fear vulnerability) gives way to recognition of how it is holding you back from the things you desire both in yourself and out of your life.
3. Remind yourself that it is okay to try new, healthy, things.
-- There are a million different, beautiful paths to walk through life - a million jobs, a million adventures, a million beautiful people to meet. Remember that there is no timeline, you don't have to be anywhere by a certain age! Life is here, now, in the journey!
3. Make active steps to say yes to your dreams (and in doing so no to fear).
-- The last thing we ever want to do is focus on the fear itself. Instead we want to focus on saying yes to our dreams and taking active steps towards them -- in the process we find ourselves killing the very fear that threatened to keep us stagnant.
I might also add that choosing bravery does not mean you will not feel fear -- in fact I think that is the heart and soul of bravery, really, the act of moving forward even though you are unsure, afraid and often feeling very alone (which you aren't, promise).
aaaaaaaannnnddddd all of that brings me to this: In the next couple of months you will begin to see changes here at The Wild Goat. Long term The Wild Goat dream is to be cafe where everything that is in my heart and yours can find a safe place to exist and grow, but until then this little niche is going to continue shifting. I will continue to mold it into things that inspire me and hopefully you as well. I do desire to keep this journal a place to log the things I am learning along the way, and I hope that is okay with you -- perhaps we can find a beautifully-creative way to do both + more.
see you among the stars,