Yesterday I experienced a people like I never have before. A people who are seekers and seers, by nature. A people who are in touch with more than we can see with our naked eye and I will be honest.. It was unnerving in some regards and wholly beautiful in others.
All of my potentially-perceived awkward, fumbling encounters aside I was struck to the core with one truth. People long to be known. And I mean really known. We want to be known right down to the grinding gears, squeaky misused, malfunctioning bits and pieces of our core - and we, as a whole, as the church.... me. I am, awful at it.
I am awful at it, and I want, I long... I ache to learn to slow and see.
I ache to understand. To stop. To listen. To look, to touch... without fear. without pause. without judgement.
I want to be able to see the depths of those around me, to draw out the light in them.. to speak and dance and dream with the lovers that live inside my world.
And what a broken and beautiful people we are. I am.
How broken to the core of my being I am. How wounded and afraid I am. How caged I am.
How I long for freedom..
I realized, too, yesterday that more often than not we, as friends and lovers, reveal the path to freedom for one another (or allow the opportunity for our friends to take hold) - and once revealed we have a choice to either choose to be seen, or choose to hide ourselves away. I think the key is recognizing those moments and slowing down enough to just be. Those moments where you start to squirm. Where your instincts are to throw sarcasm and whit into the world. Those moments where you avoid eye contact and laugh it off..
And let me be clear...
That is not to say we ourselves are freedom, because we are not. there is only one path, one truth, one life and light.. and/but he is the man-king who offered us relationship with himself and one another and I really do believe that we, allowing our insecurity to come out of that dark, dripping place inside of us, and instead choose vulnerability, will not only be healed, but will provide a place of haven for those around us to too, shed the fear and sickness that is our false strength.
and I'm ok with it.
I'm seen, and known and I still breathe.
oh, what a broken, beautiful people.