This One's For You, Captain.
You are the captain of your own ship;
don't let anyone else take the wheel."
As you may have (or may not have) noticed, I haven't written a whole lot lately. I've been pretty uninspired when it comes to blogging. Every time I sit down with the intention to write I feel sort of.. colorless. I know that might seem like an odd way of putting it (I'm an abstract thinker, get on board) but that's the picture in my head when I try to put words to why I've slowed my roll.
See, I used to just..write. I'd sit down and spill my guts. I'd share my thoughts and my dreams and my ideas and the things I was interested in and that was enough for me. And the blog picked up a bit of speed. It felt good, I liked the responses. But every so often I'd get a well-meaning comment from a friend or someone I cared about suggesting I do this or this, or maybe it should be structured this way, or my writing format wasn't correct, or my thoughts were so abstract I wasn't reaching my audience the way I could be if only I was a bit more practical.. and on it came. And I took it all to heart because I want to learn. I know that I will always have room to grow, and I appreciate the good intentions, honestly. But I also found that the more I tried to format correctly and speak in a voice that connected, which clearly wasn't my own, natural voice, the more it became work and the less I wanted to do it.
Here we are, roughly two months into the new year and I've written, what, one post? Because I was worried about shit like starting a sentence with but and how that may or may not be grammatically correct? barf. And while there are only a handful of you that I know who personally read this blog, I want to say I'm sorry! And not for the reason you might think. I'm sorry because I allowed something someone said (that didn't end up working for me) to keep me from doing something I love.
Let me be clear, I think that saying yes to learning and growth is important. And I think that being open and willing to change, to be teachable and allow others to speak into your creative work is necessary. But at the end of the day if it doesn't work for you, then it doesn't work for you. You should never allow someone else's idea of right or wrong stop you from doing what you came to do: create. You are an innovator, an artist and the captain of your own damn ship. So, do the damn thing, whatever it looks like. Make some shit, and if they don't like it, good news: THEY DONT HAVE TO READ IT/WATCH IT/HANG IT ON THEIR WALLS.
So, here I am officially saying, and maybe just for myself, that I'm not sorry that I probably won't check all your boxes. I will more than likely have spelling, grammatical errors, and my favorite epic run on sentences, not because I don't care, but because I don't have an editor and sometimes shit happens. And I'm honestly, truly, just gonna write about the stuff that makes me stoked on life. Because that's what this was all about in the first place. Living a life you're stoked about.
I hope your 2018 has started off badass and continues along that trajectory well into the future.
stay wild, babes